We Have A Busy Day Planned

South Lawn

Mar–a–Lago: The Unofficial Diary

Dear Diary:

Trouble seems to follow me. Now its Ukraine-gate, I didn’t do anything wrong, I just made the guy an offer he couldn’t refuse. Gangsta style! Giuliani, such a big mouth.

We have a busy day planned. Then we’re coming home and then we have a lot of work at the United Nations. Note to self: need distractions. Perhaps I need to help my Saudi friends.

Bolton had to go we disagreed on everything. Not a smart guy. JB wants to blow up the whole world at one time.

My tariffs are working beautifully. I’ve got China eating out of my hands. Had to speak to Melania about making eyes at Trudeau. I can’t help it if TV makes me look twenty pounds heavier and crazy light bulbs make me glow orange.

Got in a few rounds of golf while working on the hurricane crisis, I know how to multitask too. Thanks to me the hurricane missed Alabama. It’s amazing what you can do with a sharpie. Must find a scapegoat for this mess. Speaking of scapegoats, Jerome Powell is messing my GREAT economy.

I didn’t want to go to Poland anyway, terrible food. After my G7 victory, I wanted to bask in my glory. At least I had the good manners to congratulate Poland on a lovely war.

Busy. So many people to deport, so little time. I’m surrounded by nasty people, like The premier of Denmark. So mean! I made an offer for Greenland, she, insulted me. Thank God for friends like Vlad, Kim, and MLB.

Space Force is up and running. I aim to show the “Klingons” who runs the Universe. I do have great ideas. So great looking and smart, a true Stable Genius-an extremely stable genius at best! The military is considering my plan to nuke hurricanes. Ivanka called my plan sheer genius.

People are beginning to hate me. ME! The least racist and offensive person I know. I’ve given billions to farmers and paper towels to Puerto Ricans. What a bunch of whiners! They say I will ruin the economy. Such nonsense! I ran great casinos.

Note to self: Be subtle now and then; anytime I open my mouth Wall Street crashes. Such power!

Losers are coming out of the woodwork to challenge me for the Republican nomination. Joe Walsh should continue to play guitar for the 'Eagles.