History & Politics

Satire | YAME

Mar–a–Lago: The Unofficial Diary

Dear Diary,

My shrink told me this was a healthy way to express my inner feelings. What a load of crapola!

Personally, I think he is jealous that I’m the Shakespeare of Twitter. SAD!

Washington is full of swamp rats and liars.

There’s more flipping going on than at Burger King. So unfair it should be illegal. The other day I groped Jared in the Oval Office. I thought he was wearing a wire!

No collusion, no collusion. This Russian thing such a hoax –Fake news

My dad was the greatest role model, and people say I am just like him. I remember watching him leave for a Klan rally. So proud!

Make America great again.

Believe me I am the least racist person I know. Look at how K West calls me daddy.

Mike Pence is a strange guy, he keeps offering to take me skydiving and personally wants to pack chute.

It’s not easy being the GLOAT -Greatest Leader of All Time. Only my friend Vladimir might disagree. So true!

People call me nasty names. So mean! Idiot and screw up, Melania really hates me.

Bart O Kavanaugh (Brain on Bart) is my kind of guy. I would love to have ‘z’ beer with him. It’s a tough time to be a white male. False accusations –SAD!

They say I am a tax fraud. The Press is really the “enemy of the people.”

Mueller insists on meeting me. Fat chance loser!

All for now, I’ve got a cheeseburger with my name on it.

Note to self must learn to fake empathy.